My Disaster on Stage
Ignorance was bliss until my ears were opened
Before I went to University to study Music, I had been playing guitar for about 4 years, mostly Rock and Blues but had started to develop an interest in Jazz after hearing Django Reinhardt from my previous teacher.I then asked my current teacher about a way into learning Jazz and he suggested the tune ‘Autumn Leaves’.
Or
Dizzy Gillespie is known to have famously said about Sarah Vaughan, “She can sing notes other cats can’t even hear.”
The tune itself is quite easy in its original form. It follows the structure of the classic American songbook, an AABA form. Or in other words, play the first section, then play it again, go somewhere else and then return to the first bit. So with only the A section learnt, you pretty much have 75% done.
So after a few weeks of learning the melody, chords and the form in the key of Bb, which was the key I was given (it is also played in G sometimes). My teacher then suggested that it would be a good idea to try playing it down at a local bar, where they played Jazz on a Monday night, my teacher being the house guitarist at the time.
I thought it was a good idea, as you only really know it, once you perform it live.
So I continued to practise that week leading up to the following Monday, and by the morning of, I was feeling pretty comfortable with the tune.
So now I’m at the club, and I’m sitting watching the band play through a number of tunes and trying to see any non-verbal cues that they may be using, because I’m thinking I’ll need all the help I can get.
Then the Trumpeter player who was the band leader calls me up to play. So I grab my guitar and head up. As soon as I step on stage, the Bass player says “we’re gonna play it stop time”, to which I replied “what’s stop time?”, and as soon as I had asked, the drummer counted off the tune.
I wasn’t even sure of the key…I guess Bb, thankfully correct.
The phrase ‘stop time’ made me panic immediately, so I didn’t play and just listened, after a few phrases I understood, so at least I could play the chords along with the band.
It seems to be going okay…
As soon as the head (tune)finishes, the band leader turns to me to solo.
Now, at this time I had a system were I played chords with my fingers and soloed with a pick (I wasn’t aware of hybrid picking), and my pick is sitting in the back area of my telecaster with a Bigsby bridge.
Looking back, this was a ridiculous place to put my pick. The chances of me being able to retrieve it quickly was next to none. Anyway, it’s my turn to solo, and I try to grab my pick but as I do, it fell out of my hand and under the piano.
I look at the piano, then I look at the band leader, then back to the piano. The band leader just waves his hand, as if to say “Ah fuck it”, and he starts to solo instead. Fair enough.
Then starts my task of trying to receive my pick from under the piano (I should have just soloed with my fingers).
After several minutes, I manage to get my pick back, and finally I can take my solo. At this stage in my learning, I didn’t know about arpeggios or how to link them with chromaticism or anything that would have been idiomatic to Jazz.
So imagine, the Bass is walking, the Drums are providing a soft medium swing, and the piano is playing lush floating chords like a beautiful cloud of harmony. Then I play loud distorted blues licks and ruin the vibe completely. And what’s funny is, I thought I was doing a good job, like I had rectified my mistakes from earlier. It’s like, well, “I’m playing in the correct key, so this must be good”, it wasn’t.
Another problem was that I was so focused on what I was doing (which was shit) that I wasn’t listening to what was going on around me.
The piano player feeds me a certain chord with an extension, I don’t hear, the drummer feeds me a rhythm, I ignore it. Then I look up after my solo, like I just resurfaced from underwater, and only then do I realise that I must have done something wrong. Faces that said enough, enough for me to get the message.
But wait, my long list of mistakes isn’t over yet.
At this point, I should have returned to playing chords and backing up other people, but no, I just stood there.
Then the piano player turned to me and said “Keep playing, keep playing”, which I thought he meant keep soloing. He did not.
So I start soloing again on top of someone else who was soloing, he quickly turned to me with a face that said “What the actual fuck are you doing, you absolute jackass.”
I stop immediately.
I just stand there pretending to play, with the volume down. I knew the chords, but at this point, I didn’t want to make a sound.
The tune finally finishes and I exhale.
The band leader was somewhat sympathetic and still called my name out and thanked me for joining them. Pretty classy. He could have just left me to quietly walk off stage. Or maybe he was mocking me and ironically asked for applause. Who knows.
After the tune was over, my teacher, and being the house guitarist came back on stage to take over from me and said…
“Wow, that was…something.”
To make matters worst, when I left the stage, my friends were at the bar drinking and said I did a great job.
They actually sounded genuine.
I know they meant well but it made me feel even worse.
Needless to say I practised even more after that. Anything to avoid that feeling again. Every once in a while I stop practising, then I have a shit gig. Not as bad as that thankfully, but enough for me to put the time in once again.
Bill Evans said “It would take 12 lifetimes to perfect the improvised line.”
I’m just trying not to embarrass myself.
Warm Regards